So long . . .

The title could suggest so many different things.  If you're a Looney Tunes fan, you might think it means goodbye.  If you're tired of the way things are going in your life, it could mean that what you're going through is taking too much time.  If you're a mother with young children, this may decscribe your day.  If your husband or wife is deployed, this could feel like the time until you're reunited.  For me, it means a lot at this moment.  First, it's been so long since I've posted on my blog, that I think many of my readers have left.  Second, my journey of motherhood, so far, has seemed so long as I tried to raise and teach 2 small but wonderful children how to be decent, loving, smart and good people.  Third, the time since last night has dragged on while my little girl has been at her first sleepover party--at a boy's house (I promise to explain that.).  And, in several months, we'll probably be saying so long to Northern Virginia for a place yet unknown.


It's 7:00 in the morning, which to some is early and to others it's about 3 hours since they were woken up.  Have you ever gone to bed early in anticipation of something for the next day, hoping that you would speed up time with sleep?  Times like this weekend are like that for me.  It feels like forever until I can head to the birthday party to pick up Ella and hear about her fun time.  One of her best friends is a sweet, red-headed Italian boy named Tony.  His mom called to ask if Ella could come, which was so cute because Tony had asked if he could have a girl at his party--my Ella, at a birthday party with all 7 & 8 year-old boys.   He has 3 sisters, so when I agreed to the sleepover, his mom said that Ella could sleep in the same room with his sisters.   Since I dropped her off, it seems like forever until I can hear about the party.  My shy, dimpled Ella is shy no more.  She is so wonderful and smart and loving and fun.  We call her the animal (and bug, reptile, amphibian) whisperer because she can calm and attract pretty much any of them.  I could go on, but then this post would be too long.

Dan and I realized that although Ella was an only child for 2 years, Brennan has never been alone with us.  We hadn't even left the driveway of the party and he said, "I miss Ella."  He is our little policeman and rule follower.  And he is growing up so fast.  My handsome little man!

When the kids were very small, say 1 & 3, it seemed as though I would be a mother of toddlers forever.  Days would drag on with diapers and babbles and "I need"s.  I felt like it would be so long until the kids would be in school and I would be able to find me again.  That day is only 2 days away and long isn't the word I use anymore.  I recently finished a fantastic book, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and she says numerous times that "the days are long but the years are short".  This weekend, I am crossing over to the other side of motherhood where this is nothing but true. Many mothers, some I knew and others complete strangers, would say to me, "Those years go by so fast," and I would half-smile in my tired way, not having a clue what they were talking about. Now, I see.  On Tuesday, both of my children will be going to school for the whole day.  I am excited and sad all at once; fearful may even be in there a little, too.  I am having this weird catharthis about this moment when they both get on the bus with their backpacks and lunches (tears roll down my face as I write this)--like I've had this big project that I've been working on.  I've been diligently and faithfully preparing these little people to have a life of their own, to have a voice and a path, and now I pass them on to others who can teach them more, different, and fun things that they will need to complete themselves for success.  My project has been long, joyous, tiring, hard, melt-your-heart wonderful! I know that I'm not completely finished with it, but I must pass them on to other managers (while the CEO [God] keeps the endless watch over their progress and my management) to broaden what I've started.  In that sense, a little fear creeps in.  But, again, I am faithful.

It's 8:00 and time for me to go pick up my Ella from her party and head to softball practice.  I can't wait to hear all the great details (of which she'll probably tell me nothing so I'll have do get them from Tony's mom).  This swift hour has helped me realize that the excitement of my project's progression is okay, as is the sadness that creeps in.  When they get on that bus on Tuesday morning and it rolls away to school, I will feel like part of me was taken, but hopefully they will have a good part of me with them always.

So long.  Thanks for reading!